Former singer and current train wreck Amy Winehouse appeared in front of a judge in London and showed him her pink ballet shoes in an effort to show that at a petite 5'2" she could not have possibly punched a fan accusing her of doing so.

“I’m probably 5 feet 2 inches to 3 inches tall,” she said before rearranging her 8-inch black beehive hair and adding: “But my hair does make a difference.”

In one of her most bizarre public performances to date (and that is saying something), the Grammy-winning singer insisted she had not attacked Sherene Flash right after being asked to pose for a photograph at a charity summer ball.

Instead, Amy Winehouse, 25, claimed Sherene Flash, who is 5'7" and was wearing high-heeled boots, was drunk and being rude as she towered over her.

“Miss Flash came over and put her arm around me. She lent down. She’s taller than me. I had flat shoes on,” she said. “I had shoes on like this. In fact these are the very shoes I had on that night. Look, they don’t even have a heel.”
Amy Winehouse's tattoo of Blake Fielder-Civil's name is still visible. This is why you do not tattoo your drugged-up future ex-husband's name on your breast, kids.

The prosecution claims she acted with “deliberate and unjustifiable violence” towards Flash, a dancer who, like Winehouse, had performed at the Princes Trust charity ball in Berkeley Square, Mayfair, in Central London, last September.

Other dancers told Westminster Magistrates’ Court how Winehouse appeared to be either drunk or high on drugs during the altercation in a dressing room.

Wow, now that would have been a first.

Miss Flash said that after her performance she had been “tipsy” on champagne and had used the time to “network” or to take various celebrity photos.

This is Winehouse's first trip off the island of St. Lucia in ... well, that we can even remember. Her "vacation" has spanned late 2008 and all of this year.